It's time for me to stop reading self-help books and listening to self-help podcasts. It’s been an addiction. The point of self-improvement is in the name. But I’ve noticed that I haven’t been improving lately. There comes a point in self-improvement where the returns start to diminish.
I would read to feel motivated and inspired, but I was using it like a drug. You know how a lot of people just use things like drugs or alcohol or shopping or sex to distract themselves from pain and truth?
That’s what I was like, but with self-help.
I would get that “high” from reading a profound quote or article, but I wouldn’t even apply it to my life. It was just another dopamine hit. I wasn’t doing anything worthwhile with any of the information I was soaking in.
I would ooh and aah at every motivating quote and tell myself how I would use it one day when I’m in a rut.
I don’t get nearly as much done as I want to. I spend so much time learning how to improve that it prevents me from going out and actually doing shit.
I just kept looking for novelty, something exciting that made it feel like I was doing something.
But it wouldn’t ever last. It never does. The point is to stop.
Self-improvement is good for a time. After that time, it is a self-aggrandizing exercise of avoidance.
The things I’ve learned from poring myself over this genre of books and podcasts is priceless. It helped me get so far and reach new levels of self-discovery.
So this is a break up letter that I’m writing to all self-help books and podcasts that I’ve used in the past six years.
Sorry, self-help. It was me, not you.
It’s time I actually apply everything I’ve learned to my real world relationships and problems.
Everything I've learned boils down to this:
1. Take care of your body AND your mind. Together, they are one cohesive unit. If one starts to slip, the whole machine will fall apart.
2. Take responsibility for EVERYTHING in your life, even if it’s not your faut.
3. Do shit. Never stop doing. Life is about not knowing, but doing anyway.